A Journal of Impossible Things

mls03j @ 2009-05-17T12:40:00

2009-05-17T16:41:21Z

Could any of y’all use a Dreamwidth invite code? Or do you know anyone who could? They sent me two, and I’d rather give them to friends (or friends of friends) than strangers.

mls03j @ 2009-05-01T16:20:00

2009-05-01T20:20:42Z

I got my name! Already, I like Dreamwidth better than LiveJournal.

I probably won’t be importing my old journal entries or cross-posting my new ones — I like the idea of a fresh start. Of course, considering how little I’ve written in the past nine months, I’m not sure it matters if I cross-post my once-in-a-blue-moon updates. But I thought some of y’all might like to know.

“In victory, magnanimity”

2008-11-06T22:32:23Z

from 52 to 48 with love

“A more perfect union”

2008-11-04T20:31:04Z

I don’t talk much about politics in this journal. And I’m not planning to start. I just wanted to say one thing. Actually, I wanted to ask a favor — whoever wins, chill a bit. The country survived eight years of President Bush. I think it’ll still be here in 2012, no matter who wins today’s election. (And then we’ll get to go through this all over again. Oh, joy.) So please, don’t call people names if they voted differently than you did. I’m tired of hearing half my friends call the other half stupid. (Does that make me selfish? Probably.)

The first taste is always free

2008-09-26T19:31:13Z

I didn’t really realize how much I was jonesing for a fix of The Codex Alera till last night, when I saw that Jim Butcher had started posting sample chapters of Princeps’ Fury, the next book in the series. The prologue went up on Tuesday, and he’ll be posting another chapter every week till the end of October. (And then, if this year is anything like last, I’ll be shaking from withdrawal by the time the book finally hits stores at the end of November.)

mls03j @ 2008-08-27T13:00:00

2008-08-27T17:00:42Z

Happy birthday, violet_lane!

“Let’s get our world-saving on”

2008-08-10T04:21:27Z

I just finished watching “The Boyband Superfan Interrogation” (episode six of The Middleman). It looks like I have a new fandom.

A River in Egypt

2008-08-07T17:27:44Z

I’m still trying to come to terms with the season finale of Doctor Who. I’ve tried ignoring it, but that worked about as well as telling myself not to think about pink elephants. I needed something I could picture in its place. So I finally did the same thing I’d done for season two — I sat down and made a list of all the things I’d need to change to make “The Stolen Earth” and “Journey’s End” work for me.

I’d cut Rose’s eavesdropping. I’d keep the scene where she saved Wilf from the Daleks, but then I’d have her mobile ring, and I’d have her tell the person on the other end that she’d be right there. I might have her say something to Wilf just before she disappeared, like, “If you talk to the Doctor, tell him… tell him… oh, he knows.”
I’d cut the Doctor’s death. I might keep the Dalek that killed him, because I thought the running was a little over-the-top, and I was glad someone interrupted it. Plus, if I rolled credits as soon as it appeared, the episode would still end on a cliffhanger. But I’d have Jack destroy it before it could shoot the Doctor.
I’d replace the Doctor’s regeneration with a proper reunion between Rose and Jack. I’d have her explain why she made him immortal — he’s “a fixed point in time and space,” so she might’ve used him as a navigational beacon, to help find her way back from Pete’s World. But I might keep her horror when he died — she’d be coming face-to-face with the reality of what she’d done for the first time.
I’d have Donna fly the Tardis out of the Crucible’s core. The duplicate Doctor couldn’t have done it — the original Doctor wouldn’t have regenerated, or “siphoned off the [energy] into a handy bio-matching receptacle,” so the duplicate wouldn’t exist. But Donna was learning to fly the Tardis in “The Sontaran Stratagem” — I’d have her use that knowledge to help save the world.
I’d have Rose stand up for the Doctor when Davros told him, “You take ordinary people and you fashion them into weapons.” I’d have her tell Davros what she told Jackie and Mickey in “The Parting of the Ways” (“The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life”), and what she told Donna in “Turn Left” (that he does the same “to everyone he touches”). And I’d have the Doctor listen to her.
I’d have Rose appear on the Tardis monitor after Donna escaped from the Crucible’s core. I’d have it be a projection from Pete’s World, from before the walls weakened enough for Rose to come in person. And I’d have Rose and Donna work together to stop the Daleks.
I’d have the next-to-last scene be the Doctor, Rose, and Donna bringing Jackie home. I’d have the Tardis land on Jackie’s doorstep, and I’d have Pete and Tony come out to say goodbye, too. And then I’d have Rose turn to the Doctor and say something like, “So, where’re we gonna go first?”
I’d have the last scene be the Doctor bringing Donna home, but I’d make it clear that time had passed since the next-to-last scene. I’d have Wilf ask where Rose was, and I’d have the Doctor tell him that she was dealing with the people who’d hurt Donna. I might have Jack, Sarah Jane, et al. drop by to see if he and Donna were all right. And I’d close with all of them sharing stories about Donna.

I doubt I’m going to be watching the 2009 specials, much less season five. And I can’t see myself rewatching seasons two, three, or four, with the possible exceptions of “The Runaway Bride” and “Turn Left.” So I don’t see any reason why I can’t make this list — and the one from June — my personal canon. (I won’t be able to read 99 percent of the post-“Journey’s End” fanfic that’s being written, but that’s already true, since I’m never going to ship Rose and the duplicate Doctor.)

mls03j @ 2008-07-29T08:25:00

2008-07-29T12:25:37Z

Happy birthday, orange_crushed!

“A children’s show”

2008-07-24T02:30:54Z

I didn’t cry when I watched “Journey’s End.” I didn’t think I would — I figured I’d gotten it out of my system two years ago. But I just finished watching jedi_of_urth’s latest vid, and I’m sitting here in tears. It’s… it’s why the Lonely God storyline is never, ever going to work for me. With music.

T minus thirty-seven weeks and counting

2008-07-22T20:01:26Z

This morning, I saw that Chris McGrath had posted the cover art for Turn Coat, book eleven of The Dresden Files. It doesn’t hit stores till April 7, 2009, but I’m already counting the days. (Two hundred and fifty-nine, if you were curious.)

“Whatsoever things are true”

2008-07-21T02:58:25Z

I have got to stop obsessing about Doctor Who. I’ve tried distracting myself by looking for work, but it’s not helping — the job search is just as frustrating as the nitpicking. (Besides, I’ve been looking for work nonstop for the past six weeks. I’m not sure I can spend any more brain cycles on it than I already am.) So I thought I’d make a list of journal entries that I’d like to write this autumn, that aren’t in any way, shape, or form connected to Doctor Who.

Books

First Impressions of White Night
First Impressions of 1634: The Bavarian Crisis
First Impressions of Small Favor

Series

First Impressions of The Codex Alera
First Impressions of The Sandman
First Impressions of Percy Jackson and the Olympians

Personal

Reflections on Starting a Journal, Finishing a Degree, and Living with a Learning Disability
Reflections on Becoming an Aunt

Of course, I’ll probably start by writing an entry about why I ship Harry Dresden and Molly Carpenter, and that is connected to Doctor Who. But maybe it’ll help me shift gears.

“It’s a bit dodgy, this process”

2008-07-21T02:52:46Z

One of the side effects of “Journey’s End” is that I no longer see Nine/Rose and Ten/Rose as the same relationship. Ironically, I still see Nine and Ten as the same person, but I think he and Rose are going through a stage in their lives where they’re better off apart. I’ve been trying to figure out what changed between seasons one and two, and I think I finally understand it.

A while back, someone (I think it was principia_coh) floated the theory that when the Doctor regenerates, he’s inoculated against his most recent cause of death. (Am I remembering that right? I couldn’t find the original entry.) Anyway, the other day it dawned on me that what killed Nine was his relationship with Rose. She loved him enough to die for him, and he felt the same way about her. So I think he regenerated into someone who’s mortally afraid of letting anyone get that close to him.

Do I wish that he hadn’t regenerated? Part of me does. But do I wish Rose hadn’t looked into the Time Vortex? Not for a second. And I wouldn’t trade their kiss for anything.

mls03j @ 2008-07-20T15:15:00

2008-07-20T19:13:02Z

Happy birthday, katesutton and jedi_of_urth!

“A long goodbye”

2008-07-18T17:47:18Z

Halfway through typing my last journal entry, I had a couple of thoughts about “Journey’s End.” They’re surplus to requirements, since I’m still handwaving the past three seasons. But I wanted to see if they made any sense outside of my own head.

I think that when the duplicate Doctor whispered in Rose’s ear, what he said was something like, “Have a fantastic life.” In other words, I think she was kissing him goodbye. That’s the only way I can see her kissing one Doctor while the other was still there. If she’d been planning to stay in Pete’s World, I think she’d’ve said goodbye to the original Doctor and Donna, and then waited till they were gone before she kissed the duplicate. (And I think that kiss would’ve looked more like the one in the Confidential.)
I also think that the duplicate Doctor died shortly after the Tardis dematerialized. That’s partly because I can’t bring myself to ship Ten II/Rose. But it’s also the only way I can accept what happened to Donna. They were both Human-Time Lord metacrises — “part Time Lord, part human.” And when the original Doctor brought Donna home, he told Wilf, “All that knowledge — it was killing her.” A Time Lord brain couldn’t exist inside a human body. He probably thought that the rules would be different for his duplicate, but… well, “it’s not the first time he’s been wrong.”

Don’t get me wrong — I don’t hate the duplicate Doctor. In some ways, I like him better than the original. I think he did what the original never could — he loved Rose enough to set her free. (And I’d like to believe that he gave her the piece of coral that’s mentioned on the BBC’s website.)

“Everything has its time”

2008-07-14T21:04:21Z

Yesterday was the second anniversary of my online journal. I created it on July 13, 2006, so that I could comment on an old-school fan’s review of “Doomsday.” (I don’t usually go around tickling sleeping dragons. But it was less than a week after the episode aired, and I was half out of my mind with grief.) Anyway, I just went back and reread my comments and her replies, and it looks like things have come full circle. I’m still trying to accept that the story I fell in love with ended with “The Christmas Invasion.” But I still think she was wrong when she said, “The story you fell in love with was a misconception.”

The Valiant Child

If I were going to believe that Rose’s character arc was the same in all four seasons, I’d need to know why “Bad Wolf” meant one thing in season one and something else in seasons two, three, and four. In season one, it was a message from Rose to herself. It meant that she didn’t have to accept the choices that other people had made for her. She could make her own. That’s what she told the Doctor when she came back to the Game Station in “The Parting of the Ways” — “I create myself.”

But when the words appeared in later seasons, their meaning had changed. In “Turn Left,” they were a message for the Doctor. They’d also become a warning — when Donna asked, “Doctor, what is it? What’s Bad Wolf?” he told her, “It’s the end of the Universe.” And “Journey’s End” turned the phrase completely on its head. I came away from the scene on Bad Wolf Bay feeling like everything since Emergency Program One might as well not have happened.

I’d also need to know why the writers never followed up on some of the things that happened in “The Parting of the Ways.” I spent three seasons wondering how looking into the Time Vortex had changed Rose. They told us it had — in “Tooth and Claw,” the Host sensed that she had “something of the wolf” about her, and that was well after the Doctor supposedly “took the power out of her.” But that was the last we heard of it. Ironically, the Vortex’s effect on Jack was more important to the later seasons than its effect on Rose.

And we still don’t know how much of what happened on the Game Station Rose remembers. In “Doomsday,” she told the Cult of Skaro, “I met the Emperor. And I took the Time Vortex and poured it into his head and turned him into dust.” But we don’t know when or how she found out about that. And in “Turn Left,” she knew that Jack was alive and working for Torchwood. But again, we don’t know how. She doesn’t know that she made him immortal — “Journey’s End” made that clear. And she either doesn’t know or doesn’t care that the Doctor abandoned him.

The Lonely God

On the other hand, if I were going to believe that the Doctor’s character arc was the same in all four seasons, I’d need to know why he fit one archetype in season one and another in seasons two, three, and four. In season one, he seemed to fit the Mentor archetype. It’s not just that he brought Rose (and the audience) into the “special world” of the story. It’s that, more often than not, he was the catalyst for other people’s journeys. That’s one of the things I liked best about season one — the way ordinary people (a servant girl, a lifelong backbencher, a teenage single mother) stepped up and became heroes.

But in the later seasons, the Doctor himself was the hero. He literally rode in on a white horse in “The Girl in the Fireplace.” And the less said about the “romance novel cover shot” in “Smith and Jones,” the better. I think orange_crushed hit the nail on the head when she said, “I can’t even imagine Nine (who was quite cool at times) getting some of the business Ten does — a slow-motion walk through fire for Nine? I just imagine him glancing back every now and then like ‘whoa, calm down back there.’”

I’d also need to know why the writers waited till season two to suggest that the Doctor’s loneliness was at least partly a self-inflicted wound. In “The End of the World,” he told Rose, “I’m left travelling on my own because there’s no one else.” But in “School Reunion,” after she met Sarah Jane, Rose said, “I’ve been to the year five billion, right, but this… now this is really seeing the future. You just leave us behind.” And when she found out what he’d done to Jack, Martha asked, “Is that what happens, though? Seriously? Do you just get bored with us one day and disappear?”

And it doesn’t look to me like the Doctor has learned anything since “The Christmas Invasion.” If anything, his decisions seem to be getting worse. The first time he sent Rose away, he told her, “If this message is activated, then it can only mean one thing. We must be in danger. And I mean fatal. I’m dead or about to die any second with no chance of escape.” I think Emergency Program One was his answer to the question Jackie asked at the end of “World War Three” — “What if something happens to you, Doctor, and she’s left all alone standing on some moon a million light years away — how long do I wait then?”

But the second time, things weren’t quite as bad as they’d been on the Game Station. The Doctor had a plan for sending the Daleks and Cybermen to Hell without getting pulled in himself. But he sent Rose away anyway. And the third time, they’d already beaten the Monster of the Week, so he had no excuse at all. He took her back to Pete’s World because that’s where he thought she belonged (and he didn’t care what she thought).

The Simplest Solution

On the gripping hand, everything I thought was true of the series as a whole still is true of the first season. Half of season one is still Rose’s journey from shopgirl to epic hero, and the other half is still the Doctor’s journey from being alone to being part of a family. The season still ends with Rose becoming the next best thing to a goddess, and the Doctor becoming the next best thing to a Tyler. And there are enough differences between season one and the rest of the series that I can believe the later seasons happened in an alternate universe, and that my Doctor and Rose are still together.

“Are your feet wet? And can you see the pyramids?”

2008-07-06T02:04:23Z

I think I’m going to pretend that never happened. Along with everything after “The Christmas Invasion.”

“Everyone except Rose”

2008-07-02T20:22:33Z

I went ahead and deleted my last journal entry. I shouldn’t post things at four o’clock in the morning. And I shouldn’t post things that are just this side of a temper tantrum at all. But since I did, I thought I should try and write a more balanced review of the episode.

The Good

The “wow” factor. I think I stopped breathing for a minute when the Shadow Proclamation came on screen. We’ve been hearing about it since the very first episode of the series, so actually seeing it could’ve been a huge letdown. But it wasn’t. And, as butterfly pointed out, “we are now in the Medusa Cascade.” And thanks to the Daleks, it’s all a part of the Time War storyline. As much as I love “The Parting of the Ways,” I think “The Stolen Earth” might have the edge in sheer epic awesomeness.

Harriet Jones, former Prime Minister. I always hoped that we’d see her again. In fact, since I started with “The Christmas Invasion,” I’ve been hoping that since literally my first day in the fandom. And I’m so glad she came back as one of the good guys. Partly because I adore her. But also because it makes the story more interesting. It shows that sometimes good people can disagree. Sometimes there aren’t any easy answers. (Plus, it kind of kills the idea that the Doctor is God.)

The Doctor’s secret army. It was wonderful to see all the characters finally come together. (Well, almost all.) If Harriet’s return killed the idea that the Doctor is God, then this killed what mrv3000 calls “the Companion Formula” — the idea that companions leave and the Doctor moves on. I think that was my biggest fear in season three. It wasn’t just Rose — we lost Jack in “The Parting of the Ways,” Mickey in “The Age of Steel,” and Jackie in “Doomsday.” I wasn’t sure I could go through that every two years. But thankfully, RTD had something else in mind.

The Doctor himself. I loved the look on his face when Donna said, “Rose is coming back. No matter what’s happening, isn’t that good?” And the way he leaned against the Tardis when she asked him, “Where are the twenty-seven planets?” and he said, “Nowhere.” Oh, Doctor.

The Bad

Rose’s helplessness. I don’t think I’d’ve minded her not being a part of the Doctor’s secret army, if she’d been busy doing other things (even if those other things had been off-screen). But she wasn’t. And it hurt to see her being shut out like that. (Plus, it made no sense to me. She could teleport herself anywhere — why didn’t she go to the Hub?)

Rose’s one-sided jealousy of Martha. At least that one made sense. There were moments when I resented Martha. It really did feel like she was taking Rose’s place, which is something I never would’ve said in season three. But that doesn’t mean I liked hearing it from Rose.

Rose’s reaction to the Doctor’s regeneration. Granted, I was more or less expecting their reunion to be interrupted by Daleks, so I wasn’t blindsided by it the way Rose was. But it still felt like she was forgetting… well, everything I thought she’d learned in “The Christmas Invasion.”

The regeneration itself. There’s going to be yet another magical reset button in the finale, isn’t there? (Of course, it could be worse. The rumors about Ten splitting into two people could turn out to be true.)

The Strange

The abomination. Isn’t that what the Daleks called Rose in “The Parting of the Ways”? And they called Dalek Caan the same thing in this episode. I wonder if that means anything.

After the “Happily Ever After”

2008-06-28T05:03:42Z

In a lot of ways, the second season of Doctor Who is darker than the first. And I can’t deny that there were times when I wondered if RTD was still telling the same story. (Right after we got the news that Billie Piper was leaving, for example.) But I never doubted that the Doctor was still the Doctor. The way he looked at Rose hadn’t changed at all.

But his relationship with her family had. They’d become his family. They took care of him when he got sick in “The Christmas Invasion.” And then by “Army of Ghosts,” he was hanging out in front of Jackie’s telly, and he looked completely at home. When we got the news that Rose was coming back, I laughed. I don’t think I stopped smiling for a week. But when we got the news that Jackie and Mickey were coming with her, I cried. I can’t wait.

And then there’s Rose. One of the things that made season two so dark is what happened to Rose at the end of season one — she lost her memories of the Time Vortex. And I think a part of me was afraid that it was permanent — that Rose’s amnesia was some sort of magical reset button. But I couldn’t have been more wrong. Her amnesia was temporary. It was the way her decision had changed her that was permanent.

And it’s not like she turned into a shrinking violet in the meantime. In “The Christmas Invasion,” less than a day after what happened on the Game Station, she stepped up and said, “Someone’s gotta be the Doctor.” And in “Doomsday,” she faced down the Cult of Skaro and laughed. So I think butterfly was right, back in July 2007:

Rose’s journey… was about choosing to stay and becoming epic to complement the Doctor. She takes the shortcut in “The Parting of the Ways,” becoming epic and a Goddess in minutes — and then she does it the longer, harder way over the course of season two, which means that the knowledge now belongs to her and isn’t forbidden anymore.

I think that’s why I stopped hating “Doomsday.” I’ll always like “The Parting of the Ways” better, because I’m a sucker for happy endings. But season two is about what comes after the happy ending. There aren’t any dei ex machinis in “Doomsday.” There’s just Rose, letting go. And the Doctor, “burning up a sun just to say goodbye.”

And then there’s Bad Wolf Bay.

A Tall Drink of Retcon

2008-06-28T05:00:45Z

You know what? I’m tired of complaining about the second season of Doctor Who. It’s starting to feel like I can’t talk about the series without bashing season two. And if I’m sick of it, I can’t imagine how my friends who actually liked the season feel. They should get medals for putting up with it this long. The Order of the Bitten Tongue, or something.

So the other day, I sat down and made a list of all the things I would’ve done differently in season two. Well, not all, exactly — just the things I’d need to change to make the season work for me. I narrowed it down to ten (seven, if you lump together all the changes I’d make to “New Earth”):

I’d cut the entire psychograft subplot from “New Earth.” Instead, I’d have Rose and the Doctor work together to figure out what was going on.
I might keep the scene where Rose and the Doctor get into separate elevators, much as I dislike it. Then, while the Doctor was talking to the Duke of Manhattan, I’d have Rose meet Novice Hame and the Face of Boe. When Novice Hame said that she could hear the Face of Boe singing in her mind, I’d have Rose start to remember the music she heard when she looked into the Time Vortex.
I’d have Rose and the Doctor be together when Novice Hame told the story about the Face of Boe’s final words. Then, once they were alone, I’d have Rose ask if he thought it referred to him, and I’d have him say something like, “Nah. I told you before, I’d make a very bad god.” (And then I’d have her tease him about how useless he’d be as a Supreme Being.)
And in keeping with RTD’s original plans for the episode, I might have the Doctor suggest that they blow up the hospital. And then I’d have Rose say something that led him to the cure.
I’d cut the bet from “Tooth and Claw.” Instead, I’d have Rose befriend Queen Victoria the same way she did Harriet Jones. (In fact, I’d probably make Victoria’s character arc a condensed version of Harriet’s.)
I’d mention Jack at least once — probably in “The Girl in the Fireplace.” I can see using that episode’s fifty-first-century setting as a springboard, and having Mickey point to Jack’s absence as further proof of the Doctor’s short attention span.
I’d tweak the Cyberman two-parter to fit the aftermath of “The Girl in the Fireplace.” In “Rise of the Cybermen,” for example, I’d replace the scene where the Doctor and Rose are cuddling on the couch with one where Rose is piloting the Tardis.
I’d replace “The Idiot’s Lantern” with an episode that addressed the issues raised in “School Reunion,” “The Girl in the Fireplace,” “Rise of the Cybermen,” and “The Age of Steel.” Something like rosa_acicularis’s story “But Broken Lights” would work.
I’d rewrite Rose’s speech at the end of “The Satan Pit.” Instead of her saying, “I’m gonna wait for the Doctor,” I’d have her say that she would find a way to rescue him.
I’d rewrite Rose’s speech at the end of “Doomsday.” Instead of her saying that the Doctor “does it alone,” I’d have her point out that since there were two levers, he literally couldn’t do it alone.

I’m seriously considering making that my personal canon. I figure if I can ignore “Forest of the Dead,” then I can ignore “New Earth.” Of course, I don’t know if I can ignore “Forest of the Dead.” It’s not something I’ve ever tried to do before. But I’m all out of air, speed, and ideas, here, so I think it’s worth a shot.

The Rose Tyler Show

2008-06-24T17:22:00Z

What I want most out of this week’s episode of Doctor Who is more Rose. But I know it’s not that simple. RTD has an almost frightening number of characters that he has to juggle. So what I’m hoping is that Rose will be the one coordinating all the different groups.

We’d see her working with Martha and the other folks from UNIT (which would give Rose and Martha a chance to meet without the Doctor around). Then we’d see her with Jack and his team (which would give Rose and Jack time for a proper reunion). Then with Sarah Jane and her team. We might even get to see her reunion with Harriet Jones. (And please, please, please let them be bringing Harriet back as one of the good guys.) Then, at the very end, we’d see her reunion with the Doctor.

Don’t get me wrong — I won’t be crying into my pillow if that’s not the way it goes. RTD has a knack for giving me what I never knew I wanted. “Turn Left,” for example.

Three Words

2008-06-21T22:26:34Z

OH HELL YES.

ETA: You remember those concerns I had about the finale? Yeah, neither do I.

mls03j @ 2008-05-20T17:59:00

2008-05-20T22:00:24Z

I finished reading the Sandman series last night. I’ve been trying to write a proper review all day, but I keep tearing up and forgetting what I was going to say.

And then I got home and heard the news about Doctor Who. I guess it’s just one of those days.

“Who are you then, Doctor?”

2008-04-24T22:41:32Z

I think everyone’s heard the old saw that the people who travel with the Doctor are supposed to represent the audience. I’d sort of dismissed it — I don’t love the Doctor the way Rose does, and I certainly don’t idolize him the way Martha does. But I’m starting to wonder if I was a bit hasty. How they see the Doctor might not change how I see him, but that doesn’t make it irrelevant.

What Rose saw was the Doctor’s grief. She flat-out says so during their fight in “Father’s Day” — “I know how sad you are.” I think that goes back to their first trip together, when he took her to see the end of the world and told her, “My planet’s gone… It burned like the Earth.” He added that “there was a war,” but in “Father’s Day” he compares it to the car crash that killed her dad — “My entire planet died. My whole family. Do you think it never occurred to me to go back and save them?” Really, is it any wonder that she kept “forgetting he’s not human”?

Martha, on the other hand, saw the Doctor’s glamour. A lot of people compare “The End of the World” to “The Shakespeare Code.” (And rightly so, since that was Martha’s first trip with the Doctor.) But the episode I always compare it to is “Gridlock.” Granted, that’s partly because they’re both set in the year five billion. But it’s also when Martha finds out where the Doctor is from. And he paints her quite a picture — “The sky’s a burnt orange, with the Citadel enclosed in a mighty glass dome, shining under the twin suns. Beyond that, the mountains go on forever — slopes of deep red grass, capped with snow.” And it might be a coincidence, but that’s also when Martha’s veneration of the Doctor seems to start — “You’ve got your faith… And I’ve got the Doctor.”

And we’re only on her third episode — fourth, if you count “The Runaway Bride” — but I think Donna is seeing the Doctor’s guilt. On their first trip together, they have to make “the most terrible choice” — they have to kill thousands of people in order to save billions. And if I recall correctly, he tells her that he had to make the same choice at the end of the Time War. I’m not sure Rose or Martha ever knew that.

And here’s where the rubber meets the road: When the Doctor and Rose were together, the story focused on his homelessness. The first two seasons were about his search for a home and family to replace the ones he’d lost. But when he lost Rose and started traveling with Martha, the focus shifted. Season three was about the Doctor’s “other”-ness — his estrangement from humanity. So I’m guessing — or maybe I’m just hoping — that this season will be about the Doctor’s power (and the responsibility that goes with it).

Which is not to say that I think his search for home ended in “Doomsday.” Not after “Last of the Time Lords.” What was it the Doctor said? “It’s time to change. Maybe I’ve been wandering for too long. Now I’ve got someone to care for.” I think it was sensiblecat who called that scene “a manifesto for fatherhood.” And so far, this season has been showing the Doctor that it’s not all on him — there are people who’ll help him carry that load. What I’d really like is for things to come full circle — for the Doctor’s family to come back and rescue him, the way they did in “The Parting of the Ways.”

Confessions of a Doctor/Rose Shipper

2008-04-15T00:03:05Z

Yesterday, mrv3000 was talking about feeling left out of fandom because she doesn’t think “The Fires of Pompeii” was “the best episode Doctor Who ever had!” I’ve been there. I was in the Doctor Who fandom for more than a year before I stumbled across the SPDN. And there are times when I’m not sure I fit in here, either.

It’s just… I can’t always feel the Ten/Rose squee. Don’t get me wrong — I know that Nine and Ten are the same person. I know that Nine/Rose and Ten/Rose are the same relationship. And I’m glad the writers made it clear that the Doctor’s feelings for Rose weren’t (as Michelle put it last year) “some sort of one-incarnation crush.” But sometimes the squee just isn’t there. And I can’t help wondering if that makes me a bad shipper.

Why I Can’t Always Feel the Ten/Rose Squee

The only time we see Rose ask Ten about Jack, he lies and tells her, “He’s busy! He’s got plenty to do rebuilding the Earth!” And considering the bombshell the writers dropped on us in “Utopia,” I have a hard time believing he ever told her the truth. The Doctor and Rose might be cuter than a basketful of kittens in season two, but he was lying to her the entire time.

And part of me still wants to slap him when Rose tells him that it matters to her if she’s “just the latest in a long line,” and he says, “As opposed to what?” He’d never told her about Sarah Jane (or any of the other people he’d traveled with). And this was just about the worst way she could’ve found out. But he didn’t want to talk about it. So I think he deliberately hurt her in the hopes that she would drop the subject.

There’s nothing in “The Girl in the Fireplace” that makes me half as angry as that part of “School Reunion.” The Doctor sending Rose and Mickey back to the ship to keep an eye on the droids just rubs me the wrong way, that’s all. I’d call it out of character, but he didn’t seem to mind Rose going off on her own in “New Earth” or “Tooth and Claw,” either. Still, it’s not like he was out partying while she and Mickey were in danger — oh, wait.

And I still grit my teeth when Rose tells Jackie, “He does it alone, Mum. But not anymore. ’Cause now he’s got me.” I might be the only shipper in the fandom who doesn’t like that scene. But if I had to choose between Rose being the heroine of Doctor Who and Rose being the Doctor’s girlfriend, I’d jump ship tomorrow. This is the woman who ended the Time War. And she thinks the only thing she’s good for is keeping the Doctor company?

And then he sent her to Pete’s World against her will. Y’know, I hate what the Doctor did to Jack. But I think trapped in an alternate universe might trump abandoned on a space station full of corpses. (And there’s a part of me that thinks it’s only fair he’s had to live with that choice. She’s right where he put her.)

Why I Ship Them Anyway

Because the Doctor is the Doctor. In the Pudsey Cutaway, he tells Rose that he’s the same man who took her hand in the basement of Henricks and told her to run, and I believe him. Of course, that’s not always a good thing — he’s also the same man that told her the fight on the Game Station ended when he “sang a song and the Daleks ran away.” But I ship Doctor/Rose because I think the structure of the story demands it. They’re not perfect people, and it isn’t a perfect relationship, but that doesn’t change the story RTD is telling.

And in “School Reunion,” when Rose asks him if he’s going to abandon her the way he did Sarah Jane, the Doctor says no. I’ll admit, that didn’t help much the first time I watched the episode. It’s not that I thought he was lying, exactly. But from what I could tell, he had more baggage than Donna at the end of “Partners in Crime.” I figured he’d fold like a deck of cards when things got difficult. But then I realized — that’s how marriage vows work, too. Can anyone really be sure they have what it takes to keep a promise like that?

What made me all right with the Doctor swanning off in “The Girl in the Fireplace” was Rose calling him on it. (And she does the same thing when he finally gets to the cellar in “Tooth and Claw” — after she frees herself and all the other prisoners.) I love that girl more than is strictly decent.

I think that’s why her little speech in “Doomsday” scared me, the first time I heard it. I was afraid the writers were making her less than she’d been in season one. But I was wrong. In some ways, I think the choice she makes in “Doomsday” is braver than the one she made in “The Parting of the Ways.” When she went back to the Game Station, Mickey warned her that she might die, and she said, “That’s a risk I’ve gotta take. ’Cause there’s nothing left for me here.” That’s not true when she lets go of the Magnaclamp. But she does it anyway. Falling in love with the Doctor made Rose more of a hero, not less.

It made the Doctor braver, too. He left Jack without a word in “The Parting of the Ways.” He couldn’t bring himself to say a proper farewell to Sarah Jane the first time around, and she nearly has to beg him for one in “School Reunion.” But at the end of “Doomsday,” he’s “burning up a sun just to say goodbye.” And I think that’s fantastic.