A Journal of Impossible Things

I’m still trying to come to terms with the season finale of Doctor Who. I’ve tried ignoring it, but that worked about as well as telling myself not to think about pink elephants. I needed something I could picture in its place. So I finally did the same thing I’d done for season two — I sat down and made a list of ( all the things I’d need to change to make “The Stolen Earth” and “Journey’s End” work for me. )

( If you ship Ten/Rose, you might want to skip this entry )

Halfway through typing my last journal entry, I had a couple of thoughts about “Journey’s End.” They’re surplus to requirements, since I’m still handwaving the past three seasons. ( But I wanted to see if they made any sense outside of my own head. )

Yesterday was the second anniversary of my online journal. I created it on July 13, 2006, so that I could comment on an old-school fan’s review of “Doomsday.” (I don’t usually go around tickling sleeping dragons. But it was less than a week after the episode aired, and I was half out of my mind with grief.) Anyway, I just went back and reread my comments and her replies, and it looks like things have come full circle. I’m still trying to accept that the story I fell in love with ended with “The Christmas Invasion.” ( But I still think she was wrong when she said, “The story you fell in love with was a misconception.” )

I think I’m going to pretend that never happened. Along with everything after “The Christmas Invasion.”

I went ahead and deleted my last journal entry. I shouldn’t post things at four o’clock in the morning. And I shouldn’t post things that are just this side of a temper tantrum at all. But since I did, I thought I should try and write ( a more balanced review of the episode ).

You know what? I’m tired of complaining about the second season of Doctor Who. It’s starting to feel like I can’t talk about the series without bashing season two. And if I’m sick of it, I can’t imagine how my friends who actually liked the season feel. They should get medals for putting up with it this long. The Order of the Bitten Tongue, or something.

So the other day, I sat down and made a list of all the things I would’ve done differently in season two. Well, not all, exactly — just the things I’d need to change to make the season work for me. ( I narrowed it down to ten. )

Yesterday, mrv3000 was talking about feeling left out of fandom because she doesn’t think “The Fires of Pompeii” was “the best episode Doctor Who ever had!” I’ve been there. I was in the Doctor Who fandom for more than a year before I stumbled across the SPDN. And there are times when I’m not sure I fit in here, either.

It’s just… I can’t always feel the Ten/Rose squee. Don’t get me wrong — I know that Nine and Ten are the same person. I know that Nine/Rose and Ten/Rose are the same relationship. And I’m glad the writers made it clear that the Doctor’s feelings for Rose weren’t (as Michelle put it last year) “some sort of one-incarnation crush.” But sometimes the squee just isn’t there. And I can’t help wondering if that makes me a bad shipper.

I want to like this episode. I want to like this season. Unfortunately, I’m still about eighteen inches from where I need to be.

( Of course, how I feel now is nothing compared to how I felt the first time I watched it. )

Don’t get me wrong — I know that Nine and Ten are the same person. I know that Nine/Rose and Ten/Rose are the same relationship. And I’d really like to see what everyone else sees in season two — that’s one of the reasons I’m rewatching it. But I still can’t stand “New Earth,” so I’m not getting my hopes up.

Disclaimer: I didn’t have what it took to rewatch “New Earth” repeatedly (which I would’ve had to do to get decent screencaps). I did try, but in the end I gave in and borrowed them from Adventures in Time and Space. I also borrowed the title of the entry from katesutton.